“If at any time [federal] inspectors identify something that needs to be addressed, our team does so immediately.” — Elizabeth Ward, company spokesperson for Boar’s Head Provision Co. I was once a Scoutmaster. One of the most coveted items that my younger Scouts could earn was the Totin’ Chip, which granted them the right to [...]
“Did you ever notice, there’s no blue food? Whenever I say that, people say, ‘Ha! What about blueberries?’ But no-o-o…blueberries are purple.” — George Carlin My wife loves blue food. She has George Carlin to thank for that. It’s not because George Carlin’s comedy convinced my wife to love blue food. It’s because George Carlin’s [...]
“If I had a nickel for every time this happened, I’d have two nickels. Which isn’t a lot, but it’s weird that it happened twice. Right?” — Dr. Heinz Doofenshmirz Friends and acquaintances recently flooded my inbox with stories about a series of sewer explosions near the north riverfront of St. Louis. It launched several [...]
“You need to have redesign because familiarity breeds a kind of complacency.” — Timothy White When a hazardous incident occurs, we often hear a single word offered as an explanation: “Complacency.” Maybe it’s true, but is it helpful? You will never hear someone come to the defense of complacency. Complacency is universally regarded as undesirable. [...]
“The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you’ve got it made.” — Groucho Marx My doctor is trying to help me identify a food sensitivity that has been causing me health problems. His list of potential culprits includes sweeteners, and he has advised against any artificial sweetener and [...]
“The love of a dog is a pure thing. He gives you a trust which is total. You must not betray it.” — Michel Houellebecq A week ago, Vader, a police dog in the Arnold Police Department (APD), died from heat exhaustion after his handler found him in a hot patrol vehicle. Arnold is a [...]
“If you can’t explain it simply, you don’t understand it well enough.” — often misattributed to Albert Einstein I don’t spend much time in court rooms. I’m not a lawyer. I tend toward law-abiding behavior, so I’ve not been a defendant. I refuse to be an expert witness. (Lawyers seem to want me to follow [...]
“Heavy metal? Like Rock of Ages?” — Isis Hainsworth in Metal Lords It’s hard to pin down a definition of heavy metal, whether you are talking about the rock-n-roll genre, or elements from the periodic table. Serious fans (of either the music or the elements) can argue at length about what is meant by the [...]
“Love is like oxygen. You get too much, you get too high; not enough and you’re gonna die.” — Andy Scott, of Sweet OSHA standards define safe lower and upper limits to the concentration of oxygen in the atmosphere to which workers are exposed. The limits are a minimum of 19.5% and a maximum of [...]
“Do I mind if you smoke? I don’t mind if you burst into flames. Just don’t light that cigarette.” — Anonymous, derived from Sarah Bernhardt’s comment to Oscar Wilde Spontaneous human combustion (SHC) is an idea first proposed by Paul Rolli in 1746. It seized the imagination of a gullible public. Since then, there have [...]
